I'm a Catholic homeschooling mama of seven kids. Four are adults now, and living at various stages of life out of the house. Two of my adult daughters are getting married this year. Here's where I'll be hanging out my laundry, gaining perspective, and, down the road, have something to remember all the wooshing days.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

A Toast...A Roast?

Nobody really knows for sure....

continued wedding words especially for Francis:

"Francis and I had a special connection from the beginning.  What people DON'T know is that we primarily connected through sports.

Mostly baseball.



When Francis connects, he REALLY connects.




Francis felt bad, of course.



All the bad feeling between us drained away, eventually.
Into my eye sockets. 



There is some wisdom to be learned from this, Francis.  Restraint is a good thing.  And some wisdom for you Mary, too.  If Francis ever throws anything at you -
hit the dirt, girl.

After the first time I met Francis, Mary said to me, "You can see it mama, can't you?  He's a diamond in the rough."

I think she what she meant was he's a bit rough in the diamond.

I love you both."

Words for Francis and Mary, May 2, 2015



Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Love and Lemon Bars

A lot has happened in the last two weeks.

Many decisions made, work done, long term look at What Happens Now.

We had a Mass for my Mom last week.  It was beautiful and healing.

On Sunday we had a Celebration of Life for my Mom at the family home, where we spent most of our childhood years.  My Dad lives there on his own.  With many of us there a lot.  I hope he doesn't feel smothered, but I want to smother him right now.

Three weeks ago, at Mary's wedding, I gave a little toast to my Mom.  I'd like to share it with you now, because it feels like enough time has passed since that toast that I can write it out without too many tears on the keyboard.

"Most of you already know that we lost our Mom very suddenly just ten days ago.  I have a few words I'd like to say to Mary and Francis...well mostly Francis, but I'd like to offer a toast to Mom first.

One of the last conversations I had with my Mom (well, really it was more of a directive) was, 'Don't forget the lemon bars.  There are a hundred lemon bars in the freezer for Mary's wedding.'

Mom was a great cook, and Mary had asked if she would contribute her amazing lemon bars to the dessert buffet.  Mom can't be here in body, but we know she is her in spirit and lemon bars.

Here's to Patricia Burnett, Mom, Grandma, Auntie Pat...

we love you and miss you."


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Dust

The dust around me is settling, the world is coming into clearer view.

Mom has been gone for three weeks.   It seems like three months and it seems like three hours.
Pictures and words and flashbacks and reality.
The jumble of it all is starting to come together.

For me, processing is external.  Talking, folding, cleaning.  Planting things.
Talking is how I understand what's going on in my own brain.  It's how I discover how I feel.

Cleaning, folding, planting.
These things are how I create order in my brain in tangible ways, find beauty, create household order that spills over into mental order.  Put all things right.

I can't put this right.  Losing my mom.  She's gone and I have to find the right-ness about it.
Searching for this right-ness always brings me back to everything she's given me.
All the things she gave.
Her life for mine.
Her life for us.
She didn't lay down her life three weeks ago.  She laid it down when she learned to love within her own family, when she married, had children, creating bonds and ties, community and roots.

And now she is at rest and fulfilled watching her own offspring put in to practice what she taught them.  And pleased with herself, no doubt.

Check it, Mom.  My irises are blooming.




"Greater love than this hath no man, than to lay down his life for his friends."
John 15: 13


Tuesday, May 12, 2015

So Married

Well.  If I didn't bump into Mr. and Mrs. Baklinski, my daughter and son-in-law today at the grocery store.  Shopping.  So ordinary.  So extraordinary.  They are a family now.

Isn't that beautiful?

Sunday, Mother's Day, they opened gifts at our house, we re-watched their wedding slide show, saw some photos from their week away.

They came for coffee time, came back after Mass and stayed for dinner.  It was perfect.

Of course, I don't think every Sunday will be like that, but this was Mother's Day and I missed my mom.  I was grateful to have them gathered around.  All of my children were there - rare these days - including Mary's plus-one.    

Our plus-one.  

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Cousins

My brother sent me this photo.  These are all the lady cousins with the bride last Saturday.  As soon as I saw the photo, I was overwhelmed by the "grandma" in their faces.  Beautiful girls. 


Beautiful Grandma


Thursday, May 7, 2015

Reminscing

With death, comes reminiscing, remembering, revisiting.  
This is me on our wedding day, with my mom and dad.  December 31, 1990


Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Wisdom and Riches

Tonight we had an engagement party for Lucy and Ian, who are to be married in September.  Why yes, we are lunatics, thanks for asking.  We did this thing primarily because many of our dear friends from here will not make it to their wedding in September in Ottawa, and we wanted to give those dear friends of ours an opportunity for congratulations, sharing in the wedding proceedings and offer the young couple farewell.

Two days after a wedding turns out, after all, to be an excellent time to have an engagement party.  You have all the flowers, booze, dessert, paper plates, napkins and festive atmosphere in place already.

So awesome.

I'll tell you what's awesomest, though.

An impropmptu sharing of wisdom, history, stories and successes that accompany such a gathering.  I am, really and truly, the richest woman in the world.

I thank you for that, Katherine.  Layer upon endless layer of relationships, family, friendships, love, shared joy and grief, glasses of wine together, meals, children, without whom my life would never be interrupted into the reality of what really matters...and people who hold me tight for as long as I need them to and let me cry on them and share myself.

An engagement party.  A wisdom-fest.  A love story.  My love story and another manifestation of the love story of my mom and dad.

I am rich.
  

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Flowers

While I'm not at liberty to post any wedding photos until the bride and groom have given leave to do so, I feel quite at liberty to post a couple of wedding flower photos 'cause I made them.  

Bridesmaids carried yellow and pink roses, wax flower, rananculus and seeded eucalyptus

Mary carried pink peonies and white lilac from my mom's garden, white, yellow and pink roses, wax flower, eucalyptus and silver dollar.

And here is Lydia, helping me harvest the lilacs for the flower girls from Grandma's garden, note lilac bush in the background.

Words Cannot Express

the gratitude we feel.

Photos coming....

Friday, May 1, 2015

Two more sleeps...

The rehearsal went well.

I practiced my part.  Crying and bossing people around.  The two don't actually mix all that well.  I guess it's hard to take a weepy person seriously.

Francis and Mary rehearsed their part; being adorable.

We had a rehearsal dinner here, with a lot of people and my new best friend who did all the dishes.
I drank wine.

The guys left for the guy party, and the handful of girls left here watched
The Emperor's New Groove, which is my favourite movie of all time.  I fell asleep.
a) I never fall asleep on the couch
b) I love that movie

Dang.

Tomorrow Sparky and I are going to pick up the rental stuff and other errands.
Read: escape and go for coffee together.

Then, my favourite part of the wedding preparations, the flowers.